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~xxbullettheoryxx

callie
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..and what?

Tue Dec 5, 2006, 5:53 AM
  • Mood: Tired
  • Reading: uglies
  • Playing: .....
  • Eating: .....
  • Drinking: .....
I have lost someone i love dearly. but for some reason, i feel nothing at all.

my grandmothers death anniversary, is near. this weekend...but i dont feel anything.

im void. i have never felt this way. or maybe, i somehow tricked myself into feeling emotion, when i never really did.

i cant remember the last time i felt something..... something overwhelming.

im scared. i dont want to be as callous as i have become. but i am.

the only thing i feel are my thoughs, but things in your mind..arent felt. thoughts can cause sensations...but..mine dont cause any. when they should. its not natural.

i dont fear.
i dont love.
i dont long.

i miss feelings. i do...

or maybe i dont. maybe i just think i do.

im completely confused. i dont know whats wrong with me.

can someone answer my questions? does anyone know how i feel?

i miss paul, in my mind. but my body doesnt feel it.
i love him, in my mind but my heart doesnt pound.

eh. this bothers me greatly. and i really need to talk tosomeone

10 Comments

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:iconperjury:
~perjury Dec 5, 2006, 10:03:20 AM
People tend to withdraw from emotions when there are too many for them to handle. It will come to you eventually, just give it time.

You can always talk to me if you need to.
:iconbowing-to-darkness:
~Bowing-To-Darkness Dec 5, 2006, 10:06:40 AM
Often as Humans we try to run from what dont understand, and if we cannot run we try to hide from it...maybe removing your emotions is your way of running or hiding from your problems

--
Such pain the people of the world bring...But unknowingly they pain only themself's

(\/)
(O.o)
[><]
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:iconxxbullettheoryxx:
~xxbullettheoryxx Dec 6, 2006, 5:35:02 AM
:: sigh : you are prolly right.

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someone buy me a subscription and i will love you forever
love is what simply exists, without question, without doubt
:iconxxbullettheoryxx:
~xxbullettheoryxx Dec 6, 2006, 5:35:27 AM
i dont want to burden you though

--
someone buy me a subscription and i will love you forever
love is what simply exists, without question, without doubt
:iconperjury:
~perjury Dec 6, 2006, 7:46:33 AM
Don't be ridiculous. >=O
:iconbowing-to-darkness:
~Bowing-To-Darkness Dec 6, 2006, 8:01:03 AM
Tis only my opition but it seems to be what happens most often

--
Such pain the people of the world bring...But unknowingly they pain only themself's

(\/)
(O.o)
[><]
/_|_\ Copy this bunny to your sig and help him with world domination !
:iconxxbullettheoryxx:
~xxbullettheoryxx Dec 6, 2006, 10:38:26 AM
im not ridiculous!! jeez.

are you online right now? its like 1:39..

im in 4th period -.-

--
someone buy me a subscription and i will love you forever
love is what simply exists, without question, without doubt
:iconperjury:
~perjury Dec 6, 2006, 11:35:42 AM
I find it perfectly ridiculous for someone to claim that accepting an offer for help of any kind that they didn't ask for in the first place is being a burden. =P
Most people don't offer to help and not mean it. So if they offer it means they want to help, therefore you wouldn't be a burden and even if you were it would be one they were willing to take on.

I was online, yes, but I was laying down reading so.. not exactly?
:iconxxbullettheoryxx:
~xxbullettheoryxx Dec 6, 2006, 2:04:35 PM
you are too sweet. it makes me wanna cry =P but yeah, we should definitely hang out. and of course.....

you would have to meet my mom -.- otherwise, she would NEVER ever let me go anywhere with you. hah..

and she must not know i randomly found you on the internet either :paranoid:

so i would have to say you are one of my friends friends....?

--
someone buy me a subscription and i will love you forever
love is what simply exists, without question, without doubt
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